Friday, March 02, 2007

Wacky Friday

Ok, new feature. I'm going to look through the most inane news of the week and find what I think to be among the silliest stories of the past seven days. It also has to have the benefit of being funny.

And...We've got a winner!

SANTA FE — New Mexico is taking its fight against drunken driving to men's restrooms around the state.

The state has ordered 500 talking urinal cakes that will deliver a recorded anti-DWI message to bar and restaurant patrons who make one last pit stop before getting behind the wheel.

'Hey there, big guy. Having a few drinks?' a female voice says a few seconds after an approaching male sets off a motion sensor in the device. 'It's time to call a cab or ask a sober friend for a ride home.'
Ahh, if only they had had these when George W. was on the road.

I am sure the janitorial staff in these bathrooms is pretty psyched too. How many truckers named Billy Bob Bill are going to get a bit too excited by that sexy bowl-residing vixen on that long lonely trip and, how shall we say it, spill their cargo before reaching its intended destination (I know BC would)?

Hell, N.M. Senator Pete Domenici might propose.


At 5:09 PM, Blogger Cliff Schecter said...

What say you oh public?

At 5:44 PM, Blogger Fernando said...

I'm not sure I can go in a talking urinal cake. I'm not shy but this kinda sounds like dirty. I don't think urinating on anything with a voice is a good idea.

At 5:47 PM, Blogger Paul said...

Who's to say they limit it to PSAs? Why not advertising?

Next thing you know the urinal cakes will be trying to sell you life insurance, the toilet paper dispensers will be flogging energy bars, and the faucets will be singing the praises of Coca-Cola.

It's a brave new world indeed.

At 5:53 PM, Blogger BC said...

I'm not sure I'd spill my "cargo" but I have enough trouble staying on target after a few drinks that I certainly do not need someone talking to my while I'm up at the urinal. Can't a man have a few seconds of peace?

At 5:53 PM, Blogger Mary Ellen said...

I think instead of a sexy womans voice coming from the urinal cake it should be the voice of an annoyed woman....with the parting message, "Wash your hands and don't forget to zip up Romeo, there's nothing there to brag about."

Or...the voice of your mother! Yikes! "You have time to hang out in a bar but you can't call your mother?!?"

At 5:56 PM, Blogger Mary Ellen said...

Off topic...

What's with the number of comments not showing up underneath the post? What did you do now, Cliff? ;-D

At 6:04 PM, Blogger Paddy said...

Oh great and wonderful poobah Cliff didn't want the # of comments on the front page. Remember we were originally going to go to haloscan, but ya'll weren't happy with that? This is the comprimise.

I'm going to be posting about that stuff here in a sec.

At 6:04 PM, Blogger Mary Ellen said...

Bathroom joke for ya...ok, it's a womens bathroom joke, equal rights.

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"Can't," breathes the bartender. "He's not here. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

At 6:27 PM, Blogger Paddy said...


At 7:24 PM, Blogger addy said...

Really, it only makes people like me want to sneak in with a glass of wine and see these fancy urinal cakes in action. I'm sure the male patrons will be thrilled.

At 9:49 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

Is a urinal cake like yellowcake?

I know, I know, only AFTER you pee on it.

And does yellowcake have a sexy, female voice when used for target practice?

I think we've exhausted this subject.

At 12:56 PM, Blogger mihan said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 12:57 PM, Blogger mihan said...

If these urinal cakes had some kind of technology that could estimate a, uh, unirator's alcohol level in the time it gets peed on, and then provide instant feedback, then they may have had something.

This is kind of silly though. Still, if it gets even a few drunks to think twice about driving, it might be worth it.


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