The Weekly Worst In McCain Pandering

John McCain was at it again this week, trying to flip-flop his way into the hearts of conservatives everywhere. We, at The Real McCain, feel it is our duty to keep track for you:

* It seems McCain screwed up by not accepting an invitation to that collection of loons known as CPAC. Conservatives are rightfully pissed. Isn't he trying to be their boy? I would guess he wanted to miss Ann Coulter make her obligatory "raghead" remark this year, except of course, in classic McCain style, he publicly rejected their invite while trying to set up a private "reception."

They didn't fall for it: "It was a classical McCain move, dissing us by going behind our backs," said William J. Lauderback, executive vice president of the American Conservative Union.

* Remember how John McCain acted so tough with Dick Cheney a little while back. Well, it turns out, like the plastic sycophant he is, he ran up to Little Dickie to apologize for saying mean things. Now that's some straight talk!

* In a new poll, McCain is falling among those on the Christian Right, the very group he has recently traded in everything in which he believed (or didn't) to try desperately to connect with. It appears, much like the CPAC folks, they know a flip-flopper when they see one. Hell, they even like Rudy better (for the moment, anyway, that will change).

* "Obviously, I have to talk to you about the war in Iraq," he says somberly as the crowd quiets. "All of us — all of us — are frustrated. All of us are angry because of the mishandling of the war. All of us are saddened by the loss of our most precious asset, and that's American blood."

That was McCain at a campaign stop. I guess we are all saddened, just some of us not enough to stay consistent on our foreign policy beliefs and not agitate for more American kids to be sent into harm's way in a failed, trumped up war.

We'll be back next week!