Saturday, July 07, 2007

Liberal Interpretation
Their headlines, my stories
Bush Rips Democratic Lawmakers' Failures In an ironic turn of events, the corporate media transposed the words "Bush" and "Democratic", and even failed to leave off the "ic" in "Democratic". There will be a series of apologies and retractions issued shortly. The headline should have read: "Democratic Lawmakers Rip Bush's Failures". "Damn," one editor muttered after realizing he had to print the truth. "Now that invitation to the White House barbecue is history. Not to mention the President's nickname for me. I'm gonna miss being called, 'Cowpie'."

Chinese Regulator Sentenced to Death
His last meal will be comprised of samples from local seafood.

11-year-old charged with driving drunk in Alabama A humiliated President Bush was kept overnight in a small Orange Beach jail cell. "It was just Near-Beer!" a tantruming Bush was heard wailing. "Turd Blossom promised that 5 or 6 bottles would be okay! Hic! Anyone got any blow?" A hearing is pending.


At 5:02 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

Have any fake news of your own?

At 5:24 PM, Blogger toasterhead said...

You gotta hand it to the Chinese. They may not always choose the nicest way to get things done, but they do pick the most direct.

Got an overpopulation problem? They don't mess around with tax incentives or public education campaigns - they pass a one-child rule.

Got a corruption problem? They don't mess around with ethics training and punitive demotions. They kill the bastards.

I'm curious to see how it will work as a deterrent. Perhaps the World Bank will begin adopting a similar policy.

At 5:28 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

Yes, Toasterhead, they are the epitome of efficiency.


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