Their headlines, my storiesBush Rips Democratic Lawmakers' Failures In an ironic turn of events, the corporate media transposed the words "Bush" and "Democratic", and even failed to leave off the "ic" in "Democratic". There will be a series of apologies and retractions issued shortly. The headline should have read: "Democratic Lawmakers Rip Bush's Failures". "Damn," one editor muttered after realizing he had to print the truth. "Now that invitation to the White House barbecue is history. Not to mention the President's nickname for me. I'm gonna miss being called, 'Cowpie'."
Chinese Regulator Sentenced to Death His last meal will be comprised of samples from local seafood.
11-year-old charged with driving drunk in Alabama A humiliated President Bush was kept overnight in a small Orange Beach jail cell. "It was just Near-Beer!" a tantruming Bush was heard wailing. "Turd Blossom promised that 5 or 6 bottles would be okay! Hic! Anyone got any blow?" A hearing is pending.