Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Dear Republican nominees,

At first, I was awestruck by your tidy, well-pressed, monochromatic alabaster presence --former snowflake babies, perhaps?--at the debates. Admittedly, I was predisposed to reject most, if not all, of what you said. But I'm a firm believer in keeping an open mind. And so I thought hard about your positions, and I followed up, and I read, and I listened, and I watched, and I ruminated, and I pondered, and I digested. And guess what happened?

I learned. I listened, I researched, and I learned.
  • I learned that Ronald Reagan should be a nominee, too...for sainthood.
  • I learned that women's rights are unwarranted and at best should be ignored.
  • I learned that evolution is fiction and at best should be ignored.
  • I learned that 10 milky-skinned, 50-plus men in identical suits represent the "big tent" party.
  • I learned that war is permanent.
  • I learned that chronic fear is requisite.
  • I learned that democracy and freedom cannot exist without fear and war.
  • I learned that independent thinkers are not welcome; indeed, they are shunned.
There was so much more, but I feel that if I rhapsodize excessively, you'll question my sincerity. And that would be regretful.
So I'll simply leave you with this: "
Learning by experience often is painful- and the more it hurts, the more you learn." Ralph Banks

Dear, uniformly pigmented and attired nominees, after weeks of contemplating your various perspectives, I can honestly say that I'm hurting more than I ever thought possible.




At 12:01 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

I learned that if you don't comment on your own post, the comment box goes away forever.

At 2:48 PM, Blogger Mary Ellen said...


I love it! You've said it all...and as always, made me smile!

At 2:51 PM, Blogger Mary Ellen said...

Oh...and I just thought of something. They have all learned the astute lesson from Saint Ronald, if you muff up an answer, tell them your hearing aide isn't working. (hand cuffed to my ear...eh??? what did you say?)

At 2:54 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

Hahahaha! ME, good one! Oh, and that you're sick and needed to use the bathroom. That was another little gem he threw in.


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