My Weekly Americablog Column

The Week That Was 2/9/07

Another week, more preposterousness to report.

I think there should be a new edition of All The President's Men. In the case of the Bush Administration, however, it would have to be more accurately dubbed "All The President's Stepfordized, Retro-Moronic, Disgustingly Dubya-Enmamored, Bizarro-Betty Friedan Women."

Think about it for a minute. Former White House Communications Director/stand in for Sasquatch Karen Hughes thinks "God" is mentioned in the Constitution and is about a decade from "normal."

Condi Rice refers to Bush as her "husband" at cocktail parties and gives the evil eye to Nancy Pelosi at SOTUs for not standing by her man. When she is not busy, of course, hanging out on "ladies nights" (I use that term loosely) with the nominee for worst nominee for the Supreme Court in the history of the Republic: Harriet Myers (although with Myers now in Bush-retirement, will Condi have to hit the Hung Jury alone?).

Remember how legal eagle Ms. Myers was the "most qualified," person for the Supreme Court according to the Dunce of Kennebunkport?

Reality check Mr. President: She is slightly less qualified than Anna Nicole Smith right now.

Then there was the spectacle of dreary-voiced, Tammy Faye Bakker-faced, snarling little Bubonic-rat, Mary Matalin going on Imus to explain away how court testimony in the Libby case revealed she hates Chris Matthews--and coming off on the program like she just shared a speedball with Ted Haggard to celebrate his completion of hetero boot camp (he's cured! Bless the Lord!).

But the one who takes the cake, or in her case the political equivalent of The Golden Rasberry (how about The David Duke?) is that WATB, self-flagellating lover of internment camps everywhere, Michelle Malkin. Sadly for Michelle, her book on the plight of Japanese-Americans during WWII is not just theory. Michelle's had to live with the fact that her IQ's been locked away in an internment camp for the better part of her existence.

Most recently, Malkin, whose dictionary definition could not be more spot on, has been one of the "unhinged" idiots trying to get Amanda Marcotte and Melissa McEwan fired from their jobs on the Edwards Campaign. Now that she failed, much like she failed to write a book best read without having crayons handy (and perhaps scissors for ocular mutilation), she'll probably go back to her day job of trying to top Ann Coulter (when we all know she's really a bottom).

Oh, my Michelle. Of the Minutemen, she spittles with glee that they are "the mother of all neighborhood watches."

Well, sure, on Kristallnacht perhaps.

Maybe that's why when a legislator in Arizona threatened to ban them, they behaved like this:

One wanted to kick me in the uterus until I couldn't have children. Others have all kinds of really lewd and awful threats. There's not even this shared respect for another human being that you may disagree with.

Nice people, all. Much like Michelle's friend and colleague from VDARE Steve Sailer, who thinks white people are smarter than pretty much everyone else (um, that would include you Michelle, however hard you imagine you're really Ann Coulter, and click your heels three times to try and get into the kind of country club that wouldn't have you), and put together the usual right-wing, pseudo-scientific piece of Hannity to try and prove it.

So go out for ladies night sometime, Michelle, I hear it's lots of fun. Especially when members of the Aryan Nation show up and get down to "Play That Funky Music White Boy."