Thursday, August 23, 2007

Opposite Day
  • Republicans lose all interest in perverted sex practices.
  • Cheney releases emails pertinent to...well, everything.
  • Cheney publicly supports gay marriage.
  • Cheny comes out.
  • Gonzo recalls everything.
  • Gonzo leads an Impeach Bush and Cheney effort.
  • Rove reveals his strategies for any and all 2008 Swiftboating.
  • Rove campaigns for Dems.
  • Rove calls Bush a sociopathic pinhead.
  • Rove becomes Hillary's running mate.
  • Ari Fleischer grows hair.
  • Dems grow balls.
  • Valerie and Joe Wilson win their lawsuit.
  • Valerie and Joe Wilson win the lottery.
  • Valerie and Joe Wilson win American Idol.
  • John Boehner admits he pronounces his name "Boner".
  • George H.W. Bush admits Bar is really his mother.
  • George H.W. Bush admits Bar is really his father.
  • Bar comes out.
  • Bush tours the country, declaring that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.
  • Bush gives a prime time speech declaring, "Were makin' no progress" in Iraq.
  • Bush has a prime time press conference and responds lucidly and honestly to all questions.
  • Bush signs legislation reinstating habeas corpus.
  • Bush enlists in the armed forces, goes to boot camp, learns how to handle firearms, and shoots Cheney in the face.
  • Bush resigns.
  • Cheney resigns.
  • Gonzo resigns.
  • Eating anything you want is healthy.


At 6:03 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

Add your own. The list is endless.

At 6:11 PM, Blogger Cliff Schecter said...

Well done Gottalaff...good stuff

At 6:23 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

Thanks Cliffy. It was cathartic.

But I need a bath after concentrating so long exclusively on Repukes.

At 6:25 PM, Blogger Kirsten said...

Stephen Harper decides to increase spending on Social programs.
My city decides to open a new elementary school in my neighborhood, allowing my children to walk home instead of the hour long bus ride they currently take.
Jenna Bush decides never to drink again and dumps the loser.
The New Democrats win power in Canada.
The war ends, and peace breaks out across the world.
I would have found time to go to the liquor store and buy tequila.
Laffy stops making penis jokes.
Actually, scratch that last one. That would make my life miserable.
Chocolate is discovered to make you live to a hundred.
Same with tequila.

At 6:41 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

Penis joke of the day for Kirsten:

That was the penis joke of the day for Kirsten.

At 7:06 PM, Blogger noahnoah said...

Noah doesn't leave a comment on this blog because none of this is hilarious at all. Or fun. None of it. Boo hoo.

At 7:09 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...


I agree. I must stop these serious posts and lighten up. I'm bringing the entire site down.



At 7:13 PM, Blogger noahnoah said...

Yes, Gottalaff, as the Snowman said to Mitt Romney, "Lighten Up Slightly."

At 7:26 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...


I know that Snowman. He often sends me material.

He used to write for Steven Wright.

However, I understand he's going through a meltdown and had to be institutionalized.

Think good thoughts.

At 8:02 PM, Blogger Kirsten said...

Thank you for the joke, Laffy.

At 8:15 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

You are more than welcome, Kirsten. It's the least I could do.

At 1:42 AM, Anonymous binzbok said...

And to close out Opposite Day... Karl Rove wins 'Dancing With The Stars'!

At 12:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, Boehner's name should be pronounced "Beener." In German, the second vowel is prominent. Like "Frankenstein." We pronounce it Frank-en-styn.

At 5:04 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

His name is actually pronounced as it would be in Yiddish:


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