Sunday, July 29, 2007

Why I resist watching TV newsotainment B.S.N. (B.S. News)

Hairhead McArrogant: Thanks for that amazing insight into the justifications for a pre-emptive attack on Iran, Fauxtan. As always, excellent reporting.

Fauxtan Braggington: Thanks, Hairhead. Right back at ya.

Hairhead McArrogant: We have the best political team in the news business.

Prissy Rightwing: But Hairhead, you told me I did the best reporting. Remember? Yesterday? Over drinks?

Fauxtan Braggington: No, Prissy, it's me. I'm not only the best, but I'm believable. I've got the moves down and I wear great "news clothes". Back to you Hairhead.

Hairhead McArrogant: That was superb sparring, you two. That's what makes us the most trusted news team anywhere. Infighting demonstrates our balanced coverage. What could be fairer than our own reporters challenging...each other?

Prissy Rightwing: This just in! Terrorists are planning simultaneous attacks on every national monument in the United States at precisely 4:12 pm!

Hairhead McArrogant: Is that confirmed, Prissy?

Prissy Rightwing: Um, sure...yeah...that's the ticket. Um, the White House leaked a...classified document to me personally. Of course it's true! HA! I win, Fauxtan.

Hairhead McArrogant: Superb work, Prissy Rightwing. This will cover at least one more cycle. Keep watching this network for the most reliable, trusted, well-groomed news team in the business. We'll be back right after this word from the creators of Restless Leg Syndrome.

13 Comments:

At 3:04 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

If they would go back to separating the news dep'ts. from entertainment, maybe we'd have something we could actually have some faith in.

But ratings are their god. Sigh.

 
At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Howbern said...

That's why, if I want to find out what's going on in the world, I tune into the "Lerher Report" on PBS. No screaming, no breaking into someone else's thought, no out and out BS from some unknown pundit. And above all no reporter suffering from a terminal case of perkyness. If I wanted that I can go to the C.B.S. News with Katie Couroc or reruns of the "Mary Tylor Moore Show."

 
At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Mike Harwood said...

Time to put Lou Grant back in the producer's office where he belongs...

Lou: You know what? You've got spunk.
Mary: Well, yes…
Lou: I hate spunk!

 
At 4:30 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

Absolutely right.

And Mike, that's one of my all time favorite quotes.

I worked with both of them, adore them, and think either would be better in real news than any of the "actors" that are on now.

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger Kirsten said...

I miss The Mary Tyler Moore show so much...
I never ever want to hear about Paris Hilton again, which is why I avoid most news like the plague, except for the lovely CBC National, where entertainment news consists of the latest hockey scandal.
I am such a Candian...

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger Kirsten said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 4:53 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

I miss it too.

I miss the quality and the warmth. There's not much of either on TV these days.

 
At 8:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL on the piece! News HAS become a joke. We've come too far from Walter Cronkite. He never worried about a bad hair day... of course he didn't have much in the first place.

 
At 9:23 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

'Cause "that's the way it was...."

 
At 9:40 PM, Blogger Kirsten said...

" Good night and good luck".
Edward R. Murrow, and now Keith...

 
At 9:41 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

Mmm, Keith.

Edward R. Olbermann.

 
At 10:24 PM, Blogger Kirsten said...

Me likey.

 
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