Stealing from Santa Claus?
How will Bush explain this one to the kiddies?

Does Bush still believe in Santa? He must, because he's going up there to grab all the gifts that the North Pole has to offer:

The Arctic's untapped resources include huge reserves of fuel and minerals. Now Moscow has raised tensions by dispatching an expedition to annex a vast expanse of the ocean.

Ho ho ho. Except it's not funny.

In the darkest depths of the Arctic Ocean a new Cold War is brewing. American and British nuclear submarines lurk in the shadows, preparing for company.

Who'd have guessed that they'd force Kris Kringel into the oil market? I hope the reindeer don't get spooked, what with all the drilling and all.

The stakes are high. The ocean is home to vast oil and mineral reserves as well as massive shoals of fish and strategically important shipping lanes...But if oil companies and mining firms start pumping out carbon dioxide and other waste as they open up the region, the pristine conditions that have helped scientists make past observations will be destroyed, obscuring our view of our dangerously warming world.

Call me crazy, but it's my feeling that a few world leaders are going to find coal oil reindeer poop in their stockings.

...in the frozen waters around the North Pole one thing is certain: the days of the Cold War are back.

Merry Christmas.