"Make him go home now or I'll tell al-Qa'eda!" (and no, that's not a direct quote)
Aw, come on. These are adults in a very precarious and dangerous moment in history. Everything hinges on working well together. Really, now, how bad could it be?
Relations between the top United States general in Iraq and Nouri al-Maliki, the country's prime minister, are so bad that the Iraqi leader made a direct appeal for his removal to President George W Bush.
Although the call was rejected, aides to both men admit that Mr Maliki and Gen David Petraeus engage in frequent stand-up shouting matches, differing particularly over the US general's moves to arm Sunni tribesmen to fight al-Qa'eda.
Use your indoor voices or no oil access for a week! And if I hear either of you start to threaten the other---too late:
"He told Bush that if Petraeus continues, he would arm Shia militias," said the official. "Bush told Maliki to calm down."
Hey now, what did I just say? Do I have to stop the car?
At another meeting with Gen Petraeus, Mr Maliki said: "I can't deal with you any more. I will ask for someone else to replace you."
That's it. Go to your room. We'll manage to blow up the rest of the troops and Iraqi population without either of you, thank you very much. And you can just forget about that extra hour of electricity.