Want to laugh at stuff that makes you cry?
Welcome to another edition of:

Lifting Jokes From My Father-In-Law

He used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle, Jonathan Winters, all the greats. And remember the Dean Martin Roasts? He wrote for Red Buttons, Don Rickles, Paul Lynde, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., you name it.

A tiny respite from the frustrating events of the day:

At a White house meeting someone brought up Cheney's angina problem. At this point President Bush halted the discussion and said emphatically, "Gentlemen, men have penises. Only women have anginas."

The Stock Market suffered its worst weekly point drop this year. The Dow went down so fast, now I know the difference between the Stock Market and the Titanic. The Titanic had a band.

Another week like this and "Standard and Poor" will have to change their name to "Standard and Homeless."

Because of the extremely dry weather in California, the price of lettuce has soared so high that people are no longer using it for salads. They're rolling it in Zig-Zag papers and smoking it.

Is this an audience or a judiciary hearing? Don't forget to tip your stock broker.