Below is the basic transcript, ie jokes from my end, for today's edition of Republican Sexcapades on Air America with The Young Turks. I will have the audio soon, and you must listen, as the written version just does not do it justice...But for now, enjoy, or don't and leave me a nasty comments.
1) Latest on Foley
Retiring Rep. Jim Kolbe apparently went on a trip with pages to The Grand Canyon. So you’ve got to be starting to get that eerie feeling you got when you heard about the “send me a pic” emails.
I mean Kolbe took them on a tour riding a couple asses down to the bottom of the largest crevice in the world--I mean c’mon, why didn’t he just undress them, lube ‘em up and take ‘em for a slide down the Space Needle in Seattle.
2) Sandy Sullivan – Republican running for Sec State of Wisconsin – is 65 years old and taking on Doug La Follette, who is 28. Which means he is a few years outside of Mark Foley IM range. She wrote a book in 2004, about her youth of having sex with multiple players on the Green Bay Packers in the 1960s- and you thought it was Coach Lombardi who was getting his players loose-The name of her book – "Green Bay Love Stories and Other Affairs"
Quote - "The football players of the 1950s and '60s were every bit as 'HOT' as the men of the present day, if not more so," Sullivan writes of the days when she was a trim, miniskirted brunette who did some modeling. "Remember, the '60s was the `dawning of the Age of Aquarius' and some women ... were thrilled to experience this brave, new freedom, and celebrate our sexuality ... and the football players loved it!"
Sullivan, a blonde and owns a marketing company that she says sets up autograph sessions and Packer appearances, is not hiding from her past. If anything, she is reveling in it. Her campaign Web site prominently mentions the book and features a picture of her with former Packers quarterback Bart Starr.
If anybody has any problems with it, they ought to look in their own closet." Hearing that phrase, Ken Mehlman immediately ran for the door. Rick Wiley, executive director of the state Republican Party, downplayed any concerns that the book could hurt her campaign. "Everyone has a past out there," he said.
- So this certainly puts the name Green Bay Packers in a whole new light
-And you could say we’re dealing with a woman who really knew how to tailgate
-She is running for Secretary of State of Wisconsin, which was Katherine Harris’ job, and it should help that she has apparently already had lots of experience with hanging chads.
-She’ll be perfect for state government, because she already has experience blowing millions
3) Another Day, Another Republican Child Molester (Story Two Weeks Old But Worth It)
Randal D. "Randy" Ankeney, the convicted sex offender who just a few short years ago was a rising GOP star in Colorado, is being held on a $1 million bond in Larimer County.
Ankeney, 35, who was arrested Wednesday, is facing five counts of sexual assault on a child, three counts of sexual enticement of a child and one count of sexual exploitation of a child. The felonies, if he is convicted, could send him to prison for life.
The charges come less than 15 months after the former attorney, head of Gov. Bill Owens’ economic development office in Colorado Springs and graduate of the Republican Leadership Program, was released from prison after serving a two-year sentence for attempted sexual assault on a child.
At the time of his first arrest, in 2001, Ankeney was serving as the El Paso County co-chairman of Owens’ reelection campaign and was being groomed for a seat in the state legislature. And he went to the Republican Leadership Program, which is the GOPs version of summers at The Eagle’s Nest in Bavaria.
In the case, Ankeney, then 30, was accused of picking up a 13-year old girl up after he had met her on the Internet using the moniker “coloradofella.” The girl told police he took her to his home, in central Colorado Springs, got her drunk and stoned on marijuana, convinced her to take off her shirt and took photographs of her. When she passed out on the couch, she awoke to found Ankeney on top of her, kissing and fondling her. The girl told police that she feared Ankeney would rape her, but that he eventually let her up, apologized and told her that if she told anyone about the episode "he would ruin her life."
His boss Governor Bill Owens is quite conservative and I found a nice nugget doing a bit of research. He signed a law in Jan. of 2001 that provides: “Two strikes” for child molesters before a lifetime of prison. Oops. Talk about Foleying your own people.