Friday, December 15, 2006

My weekly AMERICAblog column:

The Week That Was 12/15/06

Another Week. More preposterousness to report.

So the mighty Tom DeLay graced our lives with his crooked snarl once again this past week, in a pose not seen since he took that "photo" while being processed at the big house for trying to subvert our constitutional system of government.

First, we got the emergence of DeLay "the blogger." Well not quite "blogger," as he admitted that someone else actually wrote everything that goes up on his infantile site. But he did say very proudly, on Hardball the other night, that "the ideas were his." Which means I hope that whoever is doing the writing for that blog has no plans for the next 2-7 years and enjoys the thought of conjugal visits.

In any case, DeLay's blog, GAIN, which stands for the something his party did not do in the House or Senate this past cycle--largely thanks to the fact that he's dirtier than Mark Foley's thoughts after watching an all-day marathon of The Goonies--got so many negative comments its first day online, that they took the comments down. And then I hear he illegally used DHS employees to find those responsible.

Second, we got DeLay the paranoid. In one of his usual reality-based statements, he claimed that Hillary Clinton would be the next leader of the free world, because "a liberal coalition, working in concert with the news media," would elect Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) to the White House in 2008. He also added that he "had never seen a more powerful coalition."

Ok Tom. Just to remind you, that coalition of religious zealots, corporate reach-arounds and pajama warriors you put together did a decent job of fooling enough of the country that the damage you've done over the past six years couldn't be undone by Harry Potter.

Regarding that liberal coalition, Tom, who exactly gets to be a member in the shady recesses of your lesion-saturated cerebrum? Is it only the mainstream media and liberal activists?

What about Jewish bankers, Masons, the ghost of Abbey Hoffman and SpongeBob SquarePants?

Finally, this past week with Democrat Ciro Rodriguez' stunning upset of Henry Bonilla for yet another House pickup, we got to see the results of Tom DeLay's perfidy aimed at stealing multiple Congressional seats in Texas.

So let me see. You launder corporate money. Work with Abramoff. And win the state house in Texas, all with the express purpose of taking five-six Democratic House seats. Well how's that working for you?

Let's see, bugboy, you couldn't beat Chet Edwards, lost Bonilla's seat and lost your own. So you picked up two seats. And now you will probably learn how best to manufacture car parts when not enjoying "yard time." Well done.

And thanks for giving us the corruption narrative, because that sure didn't play any role in our huge victory in November.

Come to think of it, please don't leave Tom. Keep giving your sound advice to the next generation of GOP Gorgons


At 5:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heeheehee, nice. What a fun, snarky read that was.

It's so great that you save us the trouble of having to come up with all those daggers ourselves. I, for one, can now devote more time to shopping for the best deal on a six-pack of New Years 2007 champagne-in-a-can.

You so owe me an email.

At 6:13 PM, Blogger Cliff Schecter said...

Thanks gottalaff...I would go for the Old English myself...

At 6:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You obviously have a pedigree comparable to no other. Your choice is stellar, yet understated. Provocative, yet not overt.

I, on the other hand, use a flex-straw to reach every last drop of sustenance . Waste not want not.


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