Oh, federal government? "Cease being a purveyor of unhealthy foods", 'k? Thanks.

Bush cares about us. He's a Compassionate Conservative. We know that's true, because he said so.

A new presidential report on cancer takes on not only tobacco companies but the food industry while calling on the federal government to "cease being a purveyor of unhealthy foods" and switch to policies that encourage Americans to eat vegetables and exercise.

How many times has Mom said, "Eat your carrots!" Ignore that. Bad advice. Politics over health. Business as usual.

Federal, state, and local policies have actually made healthful foods more expensive and less available, have limited physical education in schools and created an environment that discourages physical activity, the report said.

But Bush is a father, after all. And Jenna Soon-To-Be-Not Bush, and Not Jenna-Still-Bush have grown up to be hearty, strapping young women. The President of the United States would never encourage something that would hurt our kids.

"The panel's recommendation runs counter to the president's public opposition to a tobacco tax increase.

The federal government also should "require the elimination of unhealthy foods from school breakfast and lunch programs" and "must cease being a purveyor of unhealthy foods that lead to disease and increased health care costs," the report said.

This includes regulation of food advertising and changing agricultural support policies, it said.

Gasp! No...no......not............regulation. This will never do.

"We heavily subsidize the growth of foods (e.g., corn, soy) that in their processed forms (e.g., high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated corn and soybean oils, grain-fed cattle) are known contributors to obesity and associated chronic diseases, including cancer," the report reads. [...] Yet fresh fruits and vegetables are not subsidized in the same way. "And physical education classes in school have almost disappeared," [Margaret Kripke of the University of Texas M.D. Anderson cancer center, a member of the President's Cancer Panel] said.

Does bar-hopping qualify as exercise?

The American Cancer Society predicts more than 1.4 million Americans will be diagnosed with cancer in 2007 and that 559,650 will die.

So much for this administration's priorities.