Saturday, August 11, 2007

Light posting, light posts, lighten up

Welcome to another edition of:
Lifting Jokes From My Father-In-Law

He used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle, Jonathan Winters, all the greats. And remember the Dean Martin Roasts? He wrote for Red Buttons, Don Rickles, Paul Lynde, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., you name it.

A tiny respite from the frustrating events of the day:


After a two week loss of almost a 1000 points we now have a new class of investor. "The Nouveau Poor."

Things were so bad on Wall Street, a seat on the Stock Exchange now comes with an air bag.

The show "Wall Street Week" was transferred from PBS to the "Comedy Channel."

The stock market just gets scarier and scarier every day. As a matter of fact, the State of Texas is considering giving up executions. They'll just show the condemned man his retirement portfolio.

Last month in Spain on a street in Pamplona, they had "The Running of the Bulls" where you could get hurt. Last week in the U.S. on Wall street we had, "The Running of the Bears," where you could get killed.
Zing! Rim shot! Gotta go, my agent's calling. My people will call your people. Someone get me an Evian.


At 8:23 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

We'll do lunch. Air kiss!

At 10:27 PM, Blogger Kirsten said...

Does this mean I can get a seven martini luch with you? Or am I too unimportant?

At 10:35 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

If you spring for the martinis...and if you're still conscious, then you're okay with me... long as you call me "baby", promise we will close at least one deal, and offer me numerous gifts and guarantees of perpetual fame.

At 12:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The past generation had Milton Berle, Jonathan Winters, Paul Lynde... now we have Bill Engvall, Carlos Mencia, and Larry the Cable Guy. Yeah, things just keep getting better and better.

At 1:09 PM, Blogger Kerri said...

To be fair, anonymous, we also have Andy Dick. Aren't we lucky? Well aren't we?

*is that crickets I hear?*

At 2:19 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

Gaaa! Andy Dick! I teach a Comedy Workshop, and include histories/bios of comedians. Andy the Dick reintroduced Phil Hartman's wife (who was a recovering addict) to drugs; shortly thereafter she killed Hartman.

Don't get me started....

At 7:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi - zithromax drug
To avoid these, please inform your doctor about all the medications you are taking or planning to take even if those medications are herbal or even if the medication is used to treat a condition that is not related to what Zithromax is treating.
[url=]zithromax azithromycin[/url]
Since Zithromax is preventing their growth while defeating the current harmful bacteria in our body, Zithromax is able to defeat those bacteria and help us to feel better again.
zithromax medication

Some of the recorded side effects of taking Zithromax are vomiting, diarrhea, dizziness, vaginal itching or discharge, or decreased sense of taste or smell.

At 5:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

levitra price

Any other preexisting illness such as irregular heartbeats, angina, heart failure or did have a heart attack must also be known by your doctor.
[url=]generic vardenafil[/url]
Levitra for erectile dysfunctionBuy Levitra (Vardenafil) medication at reputable online pharmacy! No prescription, very competitive price!
Frustratrion dwells on both partners if one of them is incapable of performing well in bed and is especially devastating to men if they are to be blamed. - cheap levitra online

Reports of sudden decrease of vision in one or both eyes or an abrupt decrease in hearing, ringing in the ears and dizziness were very rare.

At 5:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello - generic ativan

Other specific warnings and precautions to be aware of before taking Lorazepam are: ? Ativan has the potential to be abused.
[url=]ativan pills[/url]
The risk of dependence and abuse is greater for those taking higher doses for long periods of time (longer than two to four weeks).
ativan 2mg
There are rules and regulations for prescribing and dispensing Ativan.

At 7:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello - generic finasteride
It's pretty clear nobody wants to date a baldy.
[url=]finasteride drug[/url]
This hair loss solution comes in pill form, and is to be taken daily.
buy cheap propecia
In one 5 year study performed at a clinic it was shown that 45% of men using Propecia had hair growth improvements.


Post a Comment

<< Home