Saturday, August 11, 2007

Light posting, light posts, lighten up

Welcome to another edition of:
Lifting Jokes From My Father-In-Law

He used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle, Jonathan Winters, all the greats. And remember the Dean Martin Roasts? He wrote for Red Buttons, Don Rickles, Paul Lynde, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., you name it.

A tiny respite from the frustrating events of the day:

WALL STREET BLUES

After a two week loss of almost a 1000 points we now have a new class of investor. "The Nouveau Poor."

Things were so bad on Wall Street, a seat on the Stock Exchange now comes with an air bag.

The show "Wall Street Week" was transferred from PBS to the "Comedy Channel."

The stock market just gets scarier and scarier every day. As a matter of fact, the State of Texas is considering giving up executions. They'll just show the condemned man his retirement portfolio.

Last month in Spain on a street in Pamplona, they had "The Running of the Bulls" where you could get hurt. Last week in the U.S. on Wall street we had, "The Running of the Bears," where you could get killed.
Zing! Rim shot! Gotta go, my agent's calling. My people will call your people. Someone get me an Evian.

13 Comments:

At 8:23 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

We'll do lunch. Air kiss!

 
At 10:27 PM, Blogger Kirsten said...

Does this mean I can get a seven martini luch with you? Or am I too unimportant?

 
At 10:35 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

If you spring for the martinis...and if you're still conscious, then you're okay with me...

...so long as you call me "baby", promise we will close at least one deal, and offer me numerous gifts and guarantees of perpetual fame.

 
At 12:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The past generation had Milton Berle, Jonathan Winters, Paul Lynde... now we have Bill Engvall, Carlos Mencia, and Larry the Cable Guy. Yeah, things just keep getting better and better.

 
At 1:09 PM, Blogger addy said...

To be fair, anonymous, we also have Andy Dick. Aren't we lucky? Well aren't we?

*is that crickets I hear?*

 
At 2:19 PM, Blogger GottaLaff said...

Addy,
Gaaa! Andy Dick! I teach a Comedy Workshop, and include histories/bios of comedians. Andy the Dick reintroduced Phil Hartman's wife (who was a recovering addict) to drugs; shortly thereafter she killed Hartman.

Don't get me started....

 
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