Friday, July 13, 2007

McCain Losing Because Of "Gay Sweaters"

Nope, not the walk in the Baghdad market, his support for a ridiculous war, his flip-flopping on evolution, abortion, Falwell, Bob Jones, campaign finance reform, lobbying reform and every other issue.

Not his temper, his ambition or his obstinence. Gay sweaters have done him in:

In the final days of his imploding candidacy, John McCain has taken a page out of Richard Nixon's play book, finding increasingly bizarre explanations for his political failures. Strangest of all: He reportedly feels his handlers forced him to wear "gay sweaters."

According to one insider, the knit-picking was the crescendo of a tirade by the Arizona senator, in which he blistered aides about the minutiae of the campaign. While many septuagenarians live in a perpetual state of sweater weather, McCain reportedly declared his frustration with being told to don the perceived homosexual outerwear in order to look younger and more approachable.

"He wasn't happy being dictated to. The sweaters were part of that," the source says.


At 1:09 PM, Blogger Paddy said...

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell.... About My Sweater."

At 2:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't think sweaters had a sexual orientation. On the other hand, perhaps he meant "happy," as in "they made me wear happy sweaters."

McCain... morally (and now financially) bankrupt.

At 8:13 PM, Blogger Pip Wilson said...

As a non-gay watching here from Australia, where Sydney's Gay Mardi Gras is probably the largest gay parade in the world, this seems ridiculous. Who gives a dam about his sweaters? The main problem is McCain, and the Republican and Democrat parties which voted, against all common sense, to invade countries for no reason. As we say in this country, "Blind Freddy" could see that the US Congress's vote would make us all unsafer by poking a stick into a hornet's nest. Hillary bears the same shame, and so does the Australian government under Little Johnny Howard, Bush's proclaimed "Deputy Sherrif". They're all scammers. Imagine a world without war. That isn't so difficult.

At 11:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If only he wore a manly sweater vest. Or some of those testosterone soaked loafers so popular in DC.

This is so sad - anything with even some strange tortuous association with females or gays is deemed so anathema as to exclude someone from leadership. Sadder still to see him buy into it. Here's a guy who was strong enough to live through years of torture as a P.O.W. - and he's worried that some chickenhawks will taunt him over his sweater/


At 2:35 PM, Blogger grimcity said...

Note to self: being fabulous may damage your political career.

Wait, what?

At 2:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Has McCain worn any clothes that could be perceived as 'ghetto' or 'Black'? If so, shouldn't it be pointed out that being 'Black' is assumed to be negative just like being 'Gay'?

At 2:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He should be bangin' hookers like a real republican senator! that'll prove he's no sissy!

At 2:52 PM, Blogger DavidEhrenstein said...

I made note of this several days ago.

At 3:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think McCain grossly underestimated the power of the sweater. He was unwise to dismiss the only thing he had going for him in his campaign.

At 3:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm me
Me be
I am
I can
Sing and
Hear me
Know me
If you want to destroy my sweater
Hold this thread as I walk away

Oh no
It go
It gone
Who I
I think
I sink
and I die
If you want to destroy my sweater
Hold this thread as I walk away
Watch me unravel I'll soon be naked
Lying on the floor, I've come undone

If you want to destroy my sweater
(I don't want to destroy your tank-top)
Hold this thread as I walk away
(Let's be friends and just walk away)
Watch me unravel I'll soon be naked
(Hate to see you lyin' there in your Superman skivvies)
Lying on the floor, I've come undone
(Lying on the floor, I've come undone)

At 3:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excuse me Senator McCain - but this mindset is a huge factor in your failure as a candidate.

You are a dinosaur. You are simply TOO OLD.

New thinking - whether it be about gays, sex, food, clothing, modern technology, social programs, foreign policy, WAR, etc. - is beyond the capability of your ilk. You know - the other repug dinosaurs running for president.

This ignorant remark about your clothing is a perfect illustration of the type of archaic thinking America DOES NOT NEED.

At 4:32 PM, Blogger Gene said...

James Dobson and Ted Haggard can cure your sweaters of The Gay!

At 4:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you're gonna hang around with Christians, then sooner or later you'll have to reconcile "Don we now our gay apparel, Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la."

Sorry, John, them's the rules.

At 4:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I seem to remember Al Gore being raked over the proverbial coals for "dressing for political success." Where is the MSM outrage over McCain's attempts at manipulating the voting public by wardrobe warfare? Trust me, his campaign has not imploded because of his "gay" sweaters. It's imploded because "Maverick" turned into a patheitc, pandering GWB "Mini-me."

At 5:53 PM, Blogger Shawn M. said...

His "handlers?" He has "handlers?" Sounds pretty gay to me.

At 7:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reminds me of one of my favorite slow jams, Yo La Tengo's "Autumn Sweater". And how appropriate given his campaign is in it's Autumn months.

"When I heard the knock on the door
I couldn't catch my breath
Is it too late to call this off

We could slip away, wouldn't that be better
Me with nothing to say, and you in your autumn sweater

I tried my best to hide
In a crowded room, it's nearly possible
I wait for you, oh, most patiently

So I looked for your eyes
And the waves looked like they'd pour right out of them
I'll try hard, I'll try always
But it's a waste of time
It's a waste of time if I can't smile easily
Like in the beginning
In the beginning... "

At 7:50 PM, Blogger Julia said...

oh, ffs.

He's Dole 2.0. He's eaten shit for years in return for his assumption that he'd be annointed for his loyalty. He's not going to be annointed. The only reason they troubled to make him crawl is because their base enjoyed it.

If he hadn't sold what was once some honor down the river as the price of being screwed, it'd be sorta funny.

Actually, if he's convinced himself that he was sold out by teh gay knitwear, it is funny.

At 7:57 PM, Blogger ScarabusRedivivus said...

Hey, folks! Though I have lots of gay friends and colleagues, none of them wears sweaters—and I myself am straight. Can anyone tell me what a gay sweater looks like? And can anyone provide a link to a picture of "Bomb, bomb, bomb–bomb, bomb Iran" wearing a gay sweater?

At 8:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I actually saw a photo of McCain in one of these "gay sweaters," and to give him the benefit, it was pink... and had little pictures of guys fellating each other all over it.

At 8:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, if it makes Johnny-boy feel any better, I wouldn't vote for him even if he wore one of them "straight"-people sweaters.

At 8:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't knit, don't perl....

Actually, it wasn't the gay sweaters that did him in, it was his preferred footwear: flip-flops, of course.

At 9:06 PM, Blogger Jill said...

Dear John: Now you know how Al Gore felt. Welcome to the political world you bought into when you embraced the man who essentially called your child a n-----. Dogs, fleas, etc.

At 9:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny, Guilliani wears a dress, Romney is alternately pro and anti abortion. The Republicans have a problem with whores, another one was busted here in Florida a while ago and then there's the jerk trying to seduce pages in DC. Yeah, it must be the sweater

At 2:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, I was thoroughly committed to voting for Senator McCain and then, day after dreadful day, it came to my attention that he was donning truly gayish sweaters. At first, I thought it was some ghastly confluence of unfortunate and unforseeable events that culminated in his presentment of these gay accoutrements. In fact, for a while, I thought perhaps it was just me.

Now that the truth has been revealed, and I know that Senator McCain not only knew he was donning gay sweaters, but caved in to his handlers on such a uniquely important issue, I am deeply saddened to say that I can no longer conscientiously vote for Senator McCain.

At least Rudy's pumps matched the rugs.

At 1:53 PM, Blogger GG said...

McCain sunk because everyone thought he was someone real, someone better and worthy of respect, even if they didn't agree with him, not just pretending and posturing like the rest of washington, but somewhere around the time he started embracing the people he used to deride everyone clued in that he was just the same as everyone else, except that no one agrees with him, still, and so he's rendered himself pointlessly mediocre. If his handlers coached him into the pretending or doing anything else he didn't want to do, the Real McCain would have told them to stick it, so clearly there never was a Real McCain, and it is still his own fault.

At 3:26 PM, Blogger Righteous Bubba said...

Finally Glen or Glenda ruins someone's life, and it couldn't happen to a nicer gay.

At 11:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The sweaters did not chose to be gay. The were sewn that way.

At 2:29 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

knitta' please!

He should be getting his sweaters from


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