Saturday, November 25, 2006

My Cliff's Corner Column from AMERICAblog


Another week. More preposterousness to report.

Ok so we’re coming up on Thanksgiving, a time when we give thanks for all that is special in our lives. And I don’t mean special in a George W. Bush hooked-on-phonics kinda way.

I’m thinking about the truly wonderful things that have hopefully graced our lives over the past year.

But that’s not all! We’re also granted the opportunity to unpack stale mythology as we pretend we bonded with Native Americans long enough to eat a meal ensemble where they actually weren’t the main course — and conveniently forget that we did to their land what Bob Ney did to their casino profits. And if they didn’t like it, we stuck a gun barrel in their face and told them to go Jack Abramoff.

Yet, with that lumpy gravy about to flow like the dopamine levels in Karl Rove’s cerebral cortex during pseudo-giddy electoral predictions, I figured why not use this hallowed space to give thanks for all that has blessed my life over the past year:

Thanks to my one-month old adorable son Douglas, for entering my life (and my beautiful wife for doing, let’s say, 98.7% of the work) and already having more hair and understanding of the Sunni Triangle than Dick Cheney.

Thanks to IMs, Congressional Pages and attempted GOP cover-ups.

Thanks to Keith Olbermann, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert for fighting the insidious "liberal media.”

Thanks to “Democrat” Marty Peretz’s wife for buying his public platform, so we can listen to his post-Trotskeyite, pathetically pretentious, imbecilic faux-sagacity on Iraq.

Thanks to obscure Tunisian racist phrases.

Thanks to The Young Turks, the best damn show on radio — where I am allowed to spew my pablum once a week.

Thanks to J.D. Hayworth, for losing.

Thanks to Sean Hannity’s hairdresser — it’s really a delight (and kinda gay).

Thanks to FoxNews Democrats like Susan Estrich and Kirsten Powers for their helpful and insightful analysis as to why their party sucks.

Thanks to Democrats for suddenly remembering the word “Iraq” during the campaign.

Thanks to the great slate of Democratic populists who have the ability to change things in this country (I can’t just name a few here, it would do injustice to the rest).

Thanks to Connecticut election law for allowing primary losers to run for office until they finally find a way to win.

Thanks to Ken Mehlman’s closet… that must be where he his turnout formulas disappeared.

Thanks to Robert Greenwald for making the best damn progressive films out there.

Thanks to Tom DeLay for aborting his soul.

Thanks to AMERICAblog for everything you do.

Thanks to Anne Northup for losing.

Thanks to Ted Haggard, temptation and voicemail.

Thanks to Michael J. Fox.

Thanks to Brittany and K-Fed for the memories.

Thanks to Ann Coulter and her pet larynx for the memories.

Thanks to MSNBC bookers for allowing me to have nice conversations with Republicans on TV.

Thanks to Michael Steele for losing.

Thanks to Don Sherwood’s aggressive massage technique.

Thanks to Jim Talent for opposing stem cell research.

Thanks to bloggers for doing the MSM’s job.

Thanks to President Bush for waiting until after the election to go Ike Turner on Rumsfeld.

Thanks to martinis for turning Mark Foley into a molester and Mel Gibson into Charles Lindbergh.

Thanks to Howard Dean and the 50 state strategy.

Thanks to “The Dukestir.”

Thanks to the Republicans for bringing back Trent Lott — and Michael Richards for playing him on stage.

Thanks to Katherine Harris, just for existing — I smell reality show darling (I’ve already pitched it: Pearls Gone Wild).

Thanks to Karl Rove for “dealignment.”

Thanks to Dick Cheney for having stellar aim… I hear Grover Norquist has some free time and airline miles.

And finally, thanks to the entire GOP for running an operation Lucky Luciano would have been proud of. I appreciate your kindness in letting us have the legislature back so my son only had to spend three weeks and one day under unified criminal rule of our government.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! Hopefully you, like me, can rest a bit easier knowing Republicans actually have an assorted check or balance.

(Quick Plug: Check out a Podcast of my appearance on The Radio Agonist on KTLA San Antonioif you are so inclined.)


At 11:24 PM, Blogger Mary Ellen said... turn to give thanks...

Thanks to Cliff for taking the time to blog with us.

Thanks to the guy who stole daughter Bush's purse, it gave me something to smile about..ok, I laughed.

Thanks to University of Missouri Tigers for beating the pants off University of Kansas Jay Hawks.

Thanks to the Chicago Bears who are going to beat the pants off of the New England Patriots on Sunday...I may eat my words, tomorrow, but I'll take a chance on that one. ;-)

Thanks to Howard Dean for not listening to idiots like. James Carville and sticking with his 50 state strategy.

Thanks to Nancy Pelosi for showing the U.S. that a woman can lead and paving the way for the first woman President.

Thanks to the California vineyards for making wine that is just as good if not better than French wine and supplying the bottle that I am now getting quite...smashed on.

But most of all....the most important of all things besides my husband and kids...thanks for our new Democratic Congress and Senate who will finally give relief to the middle class and poor and who will be our hope to bring our soldiers home from Iraq!

At 8:44 AM, Blogger Cliff Schecter said...

I believe that list may have just been better than mine Mary Ellen :)...I am bit upset at your Bears for beating my Giants two weeks ago - but I am with you on the Patriots, would love to see them crush the Patriots....

Having lived in France (oh no, I must be a Communist in GOP xenophobia land--whatever shall I do?) for a bit, I might have to disagree on the wine--although I will keep an open mind :)

At 12:22 AM, Blogger Fernando said...

Thanks Cliff.

At 9:25 PM, Blogger Cliff Schecter said...

Thank you too for caring so much Fernando. We need more like you.


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